I raised myself out of bed with several jet engines attached to arms and legs. I found a map of town on the top of my head and followed it. I had the briefest of times as captain on the bridge of the Queen Boadicca and then sailed serenely into a peopled evening. At the end of the day (and the year!) I had to be peeled of a laughing wall.
Crown Of Thorns
I felt ill and laid in bed as long as a vampire. When I finally rose (with organ music in the background) I walked slowly pulling sellotape from the corners of the room. I then sucked several seas dry and introduced a number of marsupial species to South America. After dinner I made several futile attempts to take our pet dinosaur out for a walk. My imagination flew like a pterosaur.
The Hill That Floated Away
After taking all the snakes out of my hair I walked the plank to the shops, where I met my friend the water nymph, and came back with a horse’s mane. I pulled an ancient city from my wife’s chest while eating lunch. Later I found time to dance in pink paint before going to the dark hall - the music reminded me of highwaymen and dwarves stood on tall ladders.
The Search For The Immortal Seed
I went visiting in the morning, earlier than usual and accompanied by my friend the owl king. After staying in the warm for a few hours I returned to the cold Anglo-Saxon camp where the hunting weapons were being polished. I ascended like an archangel in the dark afternoon and then floated down like a feather into my nightly wine cup.
A Dead Flower Studies A Seed Packet
I started the day by raising my arm like the dead warrior in Guernica. I then dressed myself in chocolate wrappers and squeezed between chinks in the wall. I tried to get back into my studio (which had been vacationing in the South of France) but the clock didn’t like it. At the end of the day my dinner was delivered by Viking longboat.
It’s All Down Hill After 30
Another day away from home - we had to trek across the plastic land where plastic people lay with arms outstretched in a perpetual embrace - we then played with the baby and ate miscellaneous parts from a model kit. I dreamed of raising the dead while television screens duelled at a multitude of false dawns. I was worried by the amount of weight Poppy has gained.
Man In The Rain
I woke bereft of visiting Magi but saw instead a Walt Disney silhouette of June as she rubbed two sticks together to turn on the television. After an Italian dinner the family settled down to pulling magic tricks out of pieces of anaconda strewn across the floor. I studied the tracks left by a party of marauding red Indians while the others gleefully buttered a monopoly board.
How I See Trees
I climbed out of the tree house lavatory holding my tummy. It took three trips to town to fully reconcile all the differences between the various clans who purportedly live in sundry items of flat pack furniture in our bedroom. After swimming forty lengths in a cup of tea I went to join the congregation where little Emily kindly gave me a bottle for her portrait.
The Yacht’s In Trouble
June discovered that she had broken her hand. We were both standing in bags of wet cement at the time. I had to pull a fish out of my pocket and make a phone call. It was a quiet day with the flags on the roof bringing up a family of refugees and the cardboard version of me surreptitiously making notes on a piece of paper in his pocket.
Worm
I went to see Father Christmas. I rose early with dove wings and visions of snow hopping kangaroos. However, it was mid morning before I managed to undo the chains from the rock I was shackled to. I then took the long journey where old trees fell to the dead house gardens where my wife and I had long past. I dug up as many memories as possible.
Burning Hat
Simple Simon's Diary: The Daily Art Work 