I knew today was going to be a strange day when I woke up with a helter-skelter on my head. I am used to a dunce’s cap and a convoy of marching spiders moving slowly into the distance. I spent some time on the record player until I was giddy enough to go to work. The evening was a crane holding a fork lift truck. I walked out of the window and looked out of the door.
After a brief period swimming on my studio floor, June and I took the slime mould machine to a medieval city on a rain cloud. Rain dropped from the fish plates that shone in the artificial sun illuminating a facial map of Australia and a procession of country bumpkins on their way to the lost isle of Avalon. I came home with a picture of a girl swimming on her living room floor.
I traipsed around the engine room until the bells tolled for the morning. I went to noon town inside a cage I made myself. The demon fairy was dressed in an extremely bright pink top and I answered the phone to an octopus in blue stockings. I was pressed within the book I was writing and the flower princess knew every sentence before I uttered it - the ginger girl was dressed only in belts.
It was as wet as washed clothes all day. I sucked up the water from the moat and climbed the winding steps to the grey magical turret so that the doves could be released - they flew off in coats of many colours. After several pirouettes on a penny farthing I walked to the shining dungeons with Quasimodo on my back and pigeons flying overhead. The music had teeth and claws that dripped red.
I pulled a picture of myself off the wall and challenged it to a duel (knowing I would lose!). I eventually replaced the picture with a landscape which I walked into to pick some flowers. The flowers were put in a vase on top of a young girl’s head - I pulled out my cross bow but, not reading the script, accidentally shot myself in the foot. I hopped home.
Another busy day in the hive. I talked in tongues to the circus animals and sold wooden figures on a sawdust floor. I flew home to my conceptual bird cage and while sitting on a perch talking to the birds of fire I invented a set of clothes based on dog bones. Poppy the dog has got too fat so we both had long walks on the plank protruding from a pirate ship.
I was out in the morning; fired by a bow into a haystack. I got out clutching a handful of needles and sped home by centipede bus. I spent the middle of the day in a whirlpool; getting giddy and pulling an unknown Shakespeare play out of a hat. I wore the hat home.
A busy day. I soon found out I was the only human not on stilts and I ended up having to run through the melee like a clockwork mouse. I soon spied the clockwork cat and went home with artificial kitten food. Once in the ice palace I placed the feeding bowl on a blue and red kite and went to work in the clouds.
I stood up and stepped out of the page far too early in the morning. I found the cat inside the television and I turned him over. The kittens were practising the Indian rope trick - June was lighting the filter end of her cigarette and smoking it . I was late going to the dentist. When I got back I put a balaclava on the ceramic guard dog and pretended it was a terrorist.
I was expecting to put on my armour and mount the old war horse early enough to join the caterpillars in their interstellar foraging; unfortunately I was late and missed the boat to the island where the trees communicate with dog barks. Poppy, the collie/policeman cross had dropped all her leaves by the time I got in.