My Diary

I danced in the rain to the council offices, where I complained about the Earth’s spin and the fact that someone had put a working model of the Titanic in our dustbin. I then ran all the way back singing sewing machine songs at the top of my voice. It wasn’t a good evening as I spent most of it chasing squirrels up and down the tree that we had recently planted in front of the fire in the living room.

Self Portrait With A Rock On My Head

Self Portrait With A Rock On My Head

Portrait Of A Girl Watching Me Bang My Head Against A Brick Wall

Portrait Of A Girl Watching Me Bang My Head Against A Brick Wall

 

My Diary

After painting at the Coliseum all day I went to the bull ring to clean bottles – and then make rows of little soldiers to bury with the Emperor. The joker came in and they walked like cards. At the end of the day I opened a can of sleep and hung curtains over the paintings on the bedroom walls so they could not see.

Figure

Figure

My Diary

June has given up smoking – she has old railway posters on her arms. Tiny doves rise from her head dress while she reads from a book backwards. I offer her a bookmark with a galloping horse on it. Apart from finding an old Hoover, once used by dwarves, today was not especially productive.

Portrait Of My Wife

Portrait Of My Wife

My Diary

I was out all day. While out I wrote a drunken song and then walked straight along it to the final chorus. My footprints became an orchestra and the sober passers-by sang along – going in reverse until they reached the beginning. When I got home, June had a pill box in her lap and I became a prisoner of war.

Seated Woman 1

Seated Woman 1

Seated Woman 2

Seated Woman 2

 

My Diary

Out early to take a wagon train to the Good Lands, I met the old gladiator. The middle of the day was spent in a soufflé. I rendezvoused with myself in the evening and between us we made plans to meet a representative of the ancient fish people.

Portrait Of Alan With A Goldfish On His Head

Portrait Of Alan With A Goldfish On His Head

My Diary

A dry wine day. However, I was able to work in the Arthurian lake, which by mid afternoon had become a huge unblinking eye. I swam in it (even though I can’t swim), reciting abstruse verses. I had a dessert wine evening.

Landscape Found In A Wine glass Raised To The Morning Sun

Landscape Found In A Wine glass Raised To The Morning Sun

My Diary

I made a maze in my mind but managed to find the centre for a picnic with my wife at noon. It then took all afternoon to get out. The evening was spent in a witch’s cauldron waiting for hair of bat and eye of toad to be tossed in on top of the vegetables.

Bury Hill

Bury Hill

My Diary

I rushed to work on a winged rocking horse. I didn’t have time to invent magicians – however, I interviewed myself as Houdini when I walked home. Later that evening we all eagerly awaited the girl with an axe in her handbag.

June Shepherd - Hammerhead Portrait - Original

June Shepherd – Hammerhead Portrait – Original

June Shepherd - Hammerhead Portrait

June Shepherd – Hammerhead Portrait

 

My Diary

I worked at the spinning wheel most of the day. On visiting the market I met an old crone who could tell fortunes and read the runes I had discovered in my breakfast cereal. I had to go out in the evening. I dressed in the old cardboard boxes I had found in a skip.

The Artist Alone Painting His Portrait

The Artist Alone Painting His Portrait

My Diary

A day in the magic garden, I buried the answer to the question I will never ask before coming indoors as Alexander the Great. As an exercise in plastic living, we all snuggled up into a crisp packet for the night.

Symbol In A Garden - The Happening One

Symbol In A Garden – The Happening One

Symbol In A Garden - The Happening Two

Symbol In A Garden – The Happening Two