My Diary

I had an early trip out.  I got a bus on caterpillar tracks as one of the detours was to a lunar landscape, then the Martian highlands before we turned round at the Crown Inn – which is being changed into flats.  I tipped my hat at the tall trees that flanked an entrance to a place I didn’t know.

When I came home I found a street of hollowed out stones, most of huge dimensions, into which windows had been cut.  I found our house (I call it Starman Towers) and pushed away the stone that blocked the hole into the hall; the dog was inside smoking a pipe.

I pulled a candle out of my pocket and plugged it in.

My Diary

In my studio, disguised as a crop circle, all day.  I went out in the evening.  I am not sure where I went: as when you pushed aside the medieval minstrel costume that acted as a door you found yourself on a bowling green with giant balls heading towards you.  I flagged down a ball and bought a ticket; if you get a day out one you can change balls as many times as you like.

I was annoyed as I worked in the garden when a pod of dolphins emerged from the gravel, somersaulted and disappeared again in the flower beds.  I got Poppy the dog to dig a hole but she couldn’t find anything – except the usual remains of a sacrificial victim with it’s mummified hands bound.

My Diary

Away from home all of the day.  Totally by accident I became a messenger for a race of mythical beings that can live in more than one place at the same time and in more than one time at the same place (on a whim I called them Morphologicals but I don’t think the name stuck).  I pushed rocks up hill and mailed myself to three different destinations; it will interesting to see at which one I arrive first.

It was raining heavily: conscious of the empty glasses in my pocket I put up an umbrella; a number of small birds flew out – none of which noticed the note stuck in a bottle rolling down the street.  I stood in a bucket and became an island.  The bottle was washed up and I took out my pen.

Much later, I found a ladder and climbed up and down it simultaneously.

My Diary

At home all of the day.  I worked as the Ionist Man most of the time, I then retired to the garden to commune with the silent figures that occasionally appear.  If other people approach they pretend to be fish, I pretend to take a breakfast cereal packet instead of a taxi.  I work in the city – a model of which I keep by my bed.

I found a tunnel which had appeared next to a bush with red lip leaves, I stuffed two white mice into my holsters and slowly entered.  I came out in a place where people walk with their legs in the air; they sleep upright and stand horizontal.  I brought back two packets of soft rocks as souvenirs.

By the end of the day I had made one line too light and the other line too heavy.

My Diary

At home some of the day.  It was a still day with only the sound of monsters bellowing on distant hills to remind me that I exist where dimensions meet.

I got caught in a super spider web when practising the Indian Rope Trick but bribed the serpent guards to let me go.  I came home with new lampshades for the eye lamps that sit each side of the sofa mouth.

I wanted to become a person in a bottle but couldn’t get ashore.

My Diary

In an outside room of golden light all day.  Mountains rose and fell in constant motion and the clouds went one way, stopped, then went the other.  I engaged a small shrub in earnest conversation while my wife disappeared into a hole of sound.  I stepped into a lake of light.

When I finally reappeared through the waterfall it was evening.  I had to work in a bird song factory, then the whale song place and finally the building where cardboard boxes sing.  I played a piece of wall as a musical instrument while my friend strummed on a strip of meat.  I tossed a coin and he put the bone in his pocket.

My Diary

In my sleep I was the fastest bowler in the world.  When I woke I had to sit on the telephone to help it hatch – I didn’t take any wickets.

Out all day in a fashion parade of different worlds.  There was loud worlds and quiet worlds and worlds partly eaten by mice.  I chose the world with concrete flowers.

I partly found and partly made an endless ladder; formed into a perfect circle, if you climb high enough you reach the bottom.