Today the summer winked its eye and I wore a long boat on my shoulders pretending to be an illustrious admiral - my boat was made from the paper I wrote my memoirs on. Apart from walking footprints to the shops and back, I was as static as a coral reef. I continued to draw black lines around both positively and negatively charged particles.
I was at home most of today; standing on the ancient parapet and walking under the shadowy arches. I diligently put small crosses on the individual ivy leaves so that they could be returned to their owners. I had to curl up in the chair in the evening while my wife tried to fit my alternative body into a conch shell.
The morning was spent under a translucent sheet which reflected the light from the multiple eyed beings that floated above my binary star system head. I worked in the garden as long as I could before taking an even longer snake to the off licence and ordering a mint tea. Dan came back from the seaside with his car headlamps hanging from each ear.
The day started with me being posted through the letterbox and subsequently landing on the doormat with a loud plop. After reading myself thoroughly I went to town pulling a camel behind me. I crumpled up my Arabian secrets like a ball of string and gladly accepted a transparent heart when it was pushed into my shirt pocket.
A nice quiet day as the amorphous “sheep” animals slowly slid over a horizontal mirror, which I peeped into occasionally to see a joint of quorn - apparently this isn’t as good for you as soya. In the evening I felt a black blank strand (with a loud silence) stretch from my head and reach the sky.
I started the day as an honorary member of The Country Boys and we talked about our next adventures. I felt a bit left out as my only super gift was the ability to pull a horse and cart out of one ear and a headless rider from the other. In the evening I quietly saluted one of my true friends who had the head of a bull and claimed to have known Aubrey Beardsley.
I took an early morning trip to see the volcano that spews out fish. I threw in my money and took home my prize. However, I didn’t have time to enjoy it as I had to go to town to be an extra in the latest Godzilla film - this was the one were the monster discovers religion and the whole world is destroyed in the subsequent fireball.