My Diary: Man’s Head

I parachuted quite early out of our bedroom window,‭ ‬writing my memoirs as I floated slowly to the ground.‭ ‬When I had the mandatory trip round the garden riding in a fluffy cat chariot I dreamed I was living in a cake,‭ ‬trying desperately to rise up through the icing.‭ ‬NB.‭ ‬I had to go out twice during the day,‭ ‬carrying a lighted candle each time.

Man's Head

Man’s Head

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My Diary: Altered Landscape

I started the day in a good mood,‭ ‬as castles perched high in the clouds drifted by,‭ ‬but ended it locked in a brown study‭ ‬-‭ ‬I took a brown book off the brown shelf and pretended to read it.‭ ‬The day was split in two like an open book.‭ ‬After I came back from circling the rim of a silver spoon for three hours I climbed onto stilts and painted a picture of a pillar on a pillar.

Altered Landscape

Altered Landscape

My Diary: Red Shapes

When I finally squeezed myself out of bed‭ (‬like toothpaste‭) ‬I was surprised to find it was shaped like a giant hand.‭ ‬I quickly checked to see if it was wearing a wedding ring.‭ ‬There followed a fairly typical morning with centipedes doing the washing up and caterpillars walking the dog.‭ ‬On the way to town I found a stray woolly rhinoceros and wasted a lot of time trying to find it’s owner.‭ ‬It is amazing how many cavemen live in my town.

Red Shapes

Red Shapes

My Diary: Sound In A Landscape

I didn’t have to go out today so remained in the house modelled on one of the moons of Jupiter‭; ‬it has round windows in the craters and the remains of ancient cosmological events playing around the radio aerials.‭ ‬Even though I was an old cuckoo in a forgotten clock I found time to fabricate a portrait of myself from fossilised twigs and an old pair of tights and rescue the puffball fairy from a vicious tool box ogre.

Sound In A Landscape

Sound In A Landscape

My Diary: The Hill

A Bank Holiday which I frittered away smearing mud on the faces of vanished warriors and listening to voices from my happier times which have always emanated from the carefully upturned flowers.‭ ‬I later tied myself to a twisted trunk and watched the sun girl play tennis with the moon dog‭ ‬-‭ ‬the star cat fell asleep on the armchair dreaming of it’s exam results.

The  Hill

The Hill

My Diary: Remembered Landscape

A day spent entirely in the garden which I secretly pulled out of,‭ ‬an otherwise normal,‭ ‬sardine can.‭ ‬The sky was as high as a medieval hall as I pulled the tentacles of the kraken out of the sands of an Arabian desert.‭ ‬While tucking my favourite new world premonition into it’s amphibious bed I dreamed my wife had gone line dancing with a gang of marsupials in a floodlit aquarium.‭

Remembered Landscape

My Diary: The Frightened Ghost

I went to‭ “‬Sky Lodge‭”‬,‭ ‬a holiday home for tired robots,‭ ‬with a handful of Nashville session musicians in my pocket‭ ‬-‭ ‬I heard a number of different songs simultaneously as I searched for my keys.‭ ‬It took me a little while to morph into a human vacuum cleaner while my young friends changed into mechanical canaries.‭ ‬I hoovered up the seed sown by passing celebrities as the sea climbed the highest mountain just for the fun of it.

The Frightened Ghost

The Frightened Ghost