My Diary: Crown Of Thorns

I raised myself out of bed with several jet engines attached to arms and legs.‭ ‬I found a map of town on the top of my head and followed it.‭ ‬I had the briefest of times as captain on the bridge of the Queen Boadicca and then sailed serenely into a peopled evening.‭ ‬At the end of the day‭ (‬and the year‭!) ‬I had to be peeled of a laughing wall.

Crown Of Thorns

Crown Of Thorns

My Diary: The Hill That Floated Away

I felt ill and laid in bed as long as a vampire.‭ ‬When I finally rose‭ (‬with organ music in the background‭) ‬I walked slowly pulling sellotape from the corners of the room.‭ ‬I then sucked several seas dry and introduced a number of marsupial species to South America.‭ ‬After dinner I made several futile attempts to take our pet dinosaur out for a walk.‭ ‬My imagination flew like a pterosaur.

The Hill That Floated Away

The Hill That Floated Away

My Diary: The Search For The Immortal Seed

After taking all the snakes out of my hair I walked the plank to the shops,‭ ‬where I met my friend the water nymph,‭ ‬and came back with a horse’s mane.‭ ‬I pulled an ancient city from my wife’s chest while eating lunch.‭ ‬Later I found time to dance in pink paint before going to the dark hall‭ ‬-‭ ‬the music reminded me of highwaymen and dwarves stood on tall ladders.

The Search For The Immortal Seed

The Search For The Immortal Seed

My Diary: A Dead Flower Studies A Seed Packet

I went visiting in the morning,‭ ‬earlier than usual and accompanied by my friend the owl king.‭ ‬After staying in the warm for a few hours I returned to the cold Anglo-Saxon camp where the hunting weapons were being polished.‭ ‬I ascended like an archangel in the dark afternoon and then floated down like a feather into my nightly wine cup.

A Dead Flower Studies A Seed Packet

A Dead Flower Studies A Seed Packet

My Diary: It’s All Down Hill After 30

I started the day by raising my arm like the dead warrior in Guernica.‭ ‬I then dressed myself in chocolate wrappers and squeezed between chinks in the wall.‭ ‬I tried to get back into my studio‭ (‬which had been vacationing in the South of France‭) ‬but the clock didn’t like it.‭ ‬At the end of the day my dinner was delivered by Viking longboat.

It's All Down Hill After 30

It’s All Down Hill After 30

My Diary: Man In The Rain

Another day away from home‭ ‬-‭ ‬we had to trek across the plastic land where plastic people lay with arms outstretched in a perpetual embrace‭ ‬-‭ ‬we then played with the baby and ate miscellaneous parts from a model kit.‭ ‬I dreamed of raising the dead while television screens duelled at a multitude of false dawns.‭ ‬I was worried by the amount of weight Poppy has gained.

Man In The Rain

Man In The Rain

My Diary: How I See Trees

I woke bereft of visiting Magi but saw instead a Walt Disney silhouette of June as she rubbed two sticks together to turn on the television.‭ ‬After an Italian dinner the family settled down to pulling magic tricks out of pieces of anaconda strewn across the floor.‭ ‬I studied the tracks left by a party of marauding red Indians while the others gleefully buttered a monopoly board.

How I See Trees

How I See Trees